Two Hours

A few days after Christmas，a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new airplane in the living room．She heard her son say，“All of you sons of bitches get the hell off the plane now，because this is the last stop！And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on，get your asses in the plane，because we’re going to take off now．”

The mother went in and told her son，“We don’t use that kind of language in this house．Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS．When you come out，you may play with your plane，but I want you to use nice language．”Two hours later，the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his plane．Soon the mother heard her son say，“All passengers who are deplaning，please remember to take all of your belongings with you．We thank you for flying with us today and hope your trip will be a pleasant one．We hope you will fly with us again soon．”

She heard the little boy continue，“For those of you just boarding，we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat．Remember，there is no smoking on the plane．We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today．”

As the mother began to smile，the child added，“For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay，please see the bad woman in the kitchen．”

英語詞匯

1.bitches - 混蛋（通常指女性，這里用于不禮貌的稱呼）

2.the hell - 該死的（表示強烈不滿或強調）

3.last stop - 最后一站

4.get your asses - 快點（粗俗說法，意為“快點行動”）

5.take off - 起飛

6.deplaning - 下飛機

7.hand luggage - 手提行李

8.no smoking - 禁止吸煙

9.pissed off - 惱火的，生氣的

10.delay - 延誤，晚點

兩個小時

圣誕節剛過沒幾天，媽媽正在廚房里忙著，聽到兒子在客廳里玩剛買的玩具飛機。她聽到兒子說：“你們這些混蛋該滾下飛機了。這是最后一站了！你們這些要登機的混蛋們，該死的都快給我上來，我們馬上就要起飛了。”

媽媽跑進去，對兒子說：“在我們家里不應該說這種話。現在我要你到自己的房間里去，在里面待上兩個小時。等你出來以后才可以玩你的飛機，但我希望你能使用文明的語言。”兩小時后，兒子從臥室里出來，繼續玩他的飛機。不多久媽媽聽到兒子說：“要下飛機的旅客，請不要忘記將您所有的行李帶好。非常感謝今天你們能夠乘坐本次航班，祝大家旅途愉快。希望在不久的將來你們能再次光臨。”

她聽到兒子繼續說：“那些剛剛登機的旅客，請將手提行李放在你們的座位下面。記住，飛機上嚴禁吸煙。祝所有旅客旅途愉快。”

媽媽露出了笑容，卻聽到兒子繼續說：“如果有人因為飛機晚點兩個小時而感到惱火，就到廚房去找那個壞女人吧。”